circuitice | CALL ME OUT

[ Kaeya is soaked to the bone. And yet, the chill barely even registers as he looks at the light of the mansion in the distance. He had kept himself away from Diluc, ceding that he needed that precious time with his father. That this was all too raw, and yet all Kaeya could do was obsess over the mess of feelings inside.

The relief that what he must do was that much easier. And the guilt that this was how he felt. The grief over Crepus, and the resignation to what he still had to do.

He couldn’t bear it. It was easier to keep up this charade when all things were in balance, and yet that balance had been broken. He could feel how much easier it was to consider betraying Mondstadt to his home— the figurative noose tightening around his neck.

And yet, the idea still filled him with fear. This wasn’t a choice he could make, it was already chosen for him by fate. But… Diluc was a child of the land of freedom. He surely had the capability to choose. The freedom to do so. Kaeya swallowed heavily.

He had to do this. This was his last chance to make things right, before the choice was fully out of their hands. Out of Diluc’s.

And so… he knocks on the door, as though he is a stranger, and this is not his home.

Because it isn’t. It can’t be. ]

[There's little solace to be found in the pouring rain save for the way it keeps the static from ringing in Diluc's ears, the bleak rattling of his father's final breaths. Diluc hasn't moved from where he's sunken into the mattress, knuckles white where his fists interlink, but he stirs when a knock falls upon his door.

Unusual, he thinks. The maids and butlers have all been informed of what transpired today, and so they know better to knock and disturb Diluc at this time. That leaves only one answer, and it's one that already has some ill feeling settling deep in the pit of Diluc's gut. Kaeya never knocks. This is his home, after all. Has been for some time now.

Stiff when he jerks upright, Diluc pulls open the door, eyes puffy and red. Guess who isn't taking daddy's death well? Shocker.]

...You don't have to knock, Kaeya.

[But I don't need to tell you that, do I? Go on, then. Tell him what's going on here.]

...

[ he wants to stop the next thing that comes out of his mouth. Wants nothing better than to extend a hand and comfort Diluc, as a brother should.

but he owes him the truth.

he owes him the chance to stop this before it happens. And if he doesn't... then it was as fate designed. He hates it, so much. If only he could have actually been a child of freedom, but there was no way Barbatos would ever extend his grace to him. ]

I've been lying to you, Diluc.

[ he chooses to be harsh, chooses to disregard Diluc's feelings entirely, to make this easier. ]

[...Why now, Kaeya? Diluc can't simply dismiss this as some sort of awful joke when it isn't the sort of joke Kaeya would make. And as much as it alarms him to hear Kaeya speaking in such a severe monotone, perfectly serious, he can't afford not to take him at his word.

His skin prickles beneath his shirt, unable to stop staring, seeking out answers in Kaeya's eyes. Naturally, he turns up nothing. He has to ask. Speak.

The words are rusty on Diluc's tongue.]

...About what?

Who I am.

Where I'm from.

[ he wants to stop, but he forces himself to keep going. Diluc can choose, he needs him to choose. to save them all from this. ]

Where my loyalties lie.

[Why this? Why is this happening? The timing no longer matters, and awful as he feels, Diluc's attention is on nothing and no one but Kaeya. Right now, he can't afford to mind anything else.]

You'll tell me the truth... won't you?

[When has Kaeya ever lied to him? No... Maybe he's been lying to him all along. Diluc can't even fathom it.]

Like always.

[Please let it end. Let this be some awful, painful nightmare. Diluc can't stand to lose both of the people he loves dearly in a single day.]

... Diluc.

One day, I will betray Mondstadt for Khaenri'ah. I was always placed here, to be a pawn in a greater struggle.

I thought I could ignore it, but today made it clear that it isn't possible.

[ a small, broken smile appears on his face, as he tries to drag back all of the feelings from this afternoon. ]

I felt relieved when I saw our father die, Diluc.

[He feels as if he'll go deaf, the rush of blood in his ears deafening in the wake of Kaeya's confession. There's simply no way, no logical way, that the boy he grew up alongside and shared so many firsts with would have harbored such a deep, dark secret for this long.

Right?

The look on Diluc's face betrays every bit of his anger, his pain, but the rest of him hasn't quite caught up. The rest of him clings to the idea that this is a bad dream, a misunderstanding, a stupid, stupid joke... until Kaeya mentions Father.]

...Excuse me? Relieved?

[Tell him he misheard.]

Yes.

You deserve to know the truth, of the kind of person I really am.

And that the weapon that killed him came from Khaenri'ah.

Enough!

[Diluc fervently shakes his head, unwilling to believe any of it.]

How can you say that? Where is your proof?! Kaeya— Tell me you're lying!

[ he hesitates, his resolve wavering. he didn't think it would hurt so much to have Diluc's anger directed at him. To watch his desperation for anything that would let them go back... back to the status quo.

he wishes he could apologize. He wishes he could stop. but he can't. he wants out of this prison as much as Diluc deserves the truth. He won't give him soft lies anymore to comfort him.

He's so sorry. ]

This is the only time I've told you the truth.

[It's as if his heart has been carved from his chest, an uncomfortable icy chill dousing his spine, rinsing his mind clean. Diluc has never been one to turn a blind eye to the truth, but for once, just this once, he doesn't want to acknowledge what Kaeya is saying to him. He doesn't want this to be real.

And yet it is. Diluc stares back at Kaeya, the silence all but deafening, while the reality of his admission finally sinks in. No longer can he run from it, the very last thing that made life worth living stripped away from him.]

...I see. That's unfortunate.

[For both of them, really. There's a heavy sort of resignation in Diluc's voice, monotone and flat as he steps past him and down the hall. There's much he wants to say to Kaeya, but every question, every word is jumbled up, refusing to leave his throat. With that, heading for the stairs, Diluc can only make one last request of Kaeya.]

Leave.

[Leave while you still can.]

[ he follows him.

he can practically feel how Diluc has shattered in front of him, the lack of connection. The strident lack of emotion. It would take one push. But if he left now, then maybe there would be a chance for Diluc to forgive him.

And he cannot, absolutely cannot do that. ]

I can't.

[ no, no, that phrasing would be the sort of thing that could tug on his heart, bring tears, instead of anger. Kaeya doesn't want that. And so, he expands. ]

I won't. You can't refuse to acknowledge this, Diluc.

[It might take months, might take years, but even this is a sin Diluc could forgive in time. That's why he's turned to leave and instructed Kaeya to do the same.

Wouldn't that have been simple? Wouldn't that have preserved what remains of their relationship? Kaeya must feel the same, and yet he refuses to let this go without a fight. Of course, of course. Nothing can come as a surprise to Diluc now.

Stopping on the stairs, he swivels around with fire in his eyes interlaced between all that hurt.]

You'd accuse me of not acknowledging it? Of running away? What's your problem, Kaeya?

[What's most infuriating at all is the fact that Kaeya isn't wrong. There is no one who understands him better, after all.]

Why do you think I'm telling you to leave? Don't you think you've done enough? Lied enough?

[ he knew that look was coming, and yet it takes everything to not crumple.

he's not going to let himself. ]

What else would you describe this as?

[ he gestures around at the empty mansion. stand. fight. don't leave him like this, Diluc.

he can't bear it anymore, not when their voices echo around the manor, hollow in its emptiness. when it would be warm and inviting, but now, it feels cold. alien. unlivable. this wasn't a place he belonged. So, let him do one good deed, for his sworn brother, his love.

already, he knows he's so twisted, the least he could do is unwrap himself from around Diluc's heart.

And so, he would try, once more, to push past "forgiveness." ]

I see your plan. Dismiss me, dismiss all of this as though it's a nightmare to be woken from.

As though tomorrow, or the day after, or years later, when it's too late, you'll ask me if I was misspeaking tonight.

[The broad sweep of Kaeya's arms does nothing but remind Diluc of everything he's lost: his home, his family, his father, all that he's come to love over so many years... and now the man he'd long thought irreplaceable in his heart. What other choice does Kaeya leave him but to replace him?

This callousness isn't like Kaeya, and were Diluc in his right mind, he would acknowledge that. He would call Kaeya out for sabotaging what remains of their relationship, forcibly twisting it apart not to hurt his sworn brother, but to hurt himself.

Instead, Diluc is too consumed with rage and grief to avoid giving into Kaeya's ploy to rend the ties between them irrevocably. Instead, Diluc is the one to deliver the final blow that will burn to ashes what remains of their longstanding bond.]

That's where you're wrong, Kaeya. Dead wrong.

[Silent for a long, long moment, Diluc's eyes burn into Kaeya's, after which he arrests him by the collar and hauls him outside into the wind and rain. Tossing him down onto the mud and grit, Diluc doesn't blink, doesn't dare look away from Kaeya has he calls forth his claymore and levels it at him.]

There won't be anyone to ask, not after this. Draw your blade and fight or accept your fate. I won't make that decision for you.

[ he pushed him to it. he did it. part of him had been holding his breath, hoping that it wasn't possible, while knowing that it absolutely was. But, if he refused to draw his sword, Diluc would quickly lose his nerve.

and so, Kaeya's blood runs so, so cold. His hand goes to his sword, and he can't even really feel the motions. He just knows-- they're happening. This is it.

it's terrifying. He didn't think he would be so frightened to be at this point. ]

... Very well.

[ his heart isn't in it, but he's praying Diluc doesn't notice. ]

[It's nothing but momentum and raw emotion on Diluc's end, his sword lit up in scorching hot flames, the rain hissing and vaporizing against hot metal. Even at the very end, Kaeya can't put his heart into it, curling in on himself in fear like he had so often as a child.

No... Rather than find it vexing, Diluc is somewhat relieved. At the very end, Kaeya can't help but be honest with him, can he? That fear is potent enough to taste, and though it rends and tears at his heart, it's motivation enough to swing his blade and unleash a blast of molten hot flames directly at Kaeya.

If nothing else, Kaeya's final words will grant him the peace of knowing that, at the very end, Kaeya could only be honest with him.]

[ parries that he should be able to make, he does. ones that are marginal, he allows to pass, practically begging diluc to finish him. And then-- the slash at his face.

his eyepatch falls, and with it, blood surrounds the eye, glowing red with abyssal power. unnatural. inhuman. he grunts in pain, and shifts a hand up to cover his eye. he had hoped that Diluc would kill him before he could see that.

but no, let it be the last thing he sees, so he knows that he was right to end him. no one this cruel, and this sinful, could be allowed to go on. and so, he forces himself to lower his hand, back to a more defensive position.

please.

end him. ]

CALL ME OUT

For milky

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