CALL ME OUT

[circuitice]

this post for CMO for kaeya. new threads and TLs to go here

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[circuitice]

Yes.

[ he says firmly, sternly. And that is all he adds. ]

[hotcall]

[ the fist that diluc has formed - he hadn't even realised - it loosens. ]

... why?

[circuitice]

[ he exhales the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. All of this getting dangerously close to the truth that he didn’t want to admit. Or was unwilling to admit, in some small measure.

He knows that Diluc would be willing to forgive him.

But he wasn’t sure he was willing to allow that full reconciliation. Even if he knew it would make him happier. Both of them happier. And so he freezes, he thinks of a quick side step, ]

What does my reasoning matter? I’m simply telling the truth.

[ he says, knowing Diluc would never trust his truths. ]

[hotcall]

[ it matters, diluc thinks. it matters because he doesn't understand kaeya when he needs to the most - because if he doesn't understand, he cannot know if kaeya's return is a mere herald of something more.

but diluc had already said what he had said regardless. for kaeya to not go anywhere that diluc cannot follow.

irrespective of the truth, that will become the truth.

diluc breathes out in the way of a sigh. above, the dome of the stars stretch; they do not cease. they never have. ]

Fine. [ in a way like heartbreak: ] I trust you.

[circuitice]

[ dawn winery looms large in his vision, as Diluc says those words. And Kaeya feels his heart crack— and with it, his mask.

This was too close, too too close. Memories of that night, four years have passed and he can’t quite shake how devastating that night was. If the heavens opened up and struck him right now, he’d deserve it. ]

I forget how short the walk can be.

[ he can’t let himself respond to Diluc’s words. The guilt over that night gnaws at him to this day. Trust was not a thing he deserved.

But he knows to not say that directly, he knows the conversation’s direction would turn in a way and he would lose his nerve and run.

There’s a part of him that wants to run anyway, as they draw closer to the entrance. ]

[hotcall]

[ diluc looks. it has been a long time since he's been able to see through the minutiae of kaeya's mask. but just the fact that he's saying so is telling.

what diluc says instead: ]

No. It has been a long journey.

[ a short walk from angel's share to dawn winery, perhaps, but both of them have taking their own circuitous routes here. one from chasing the lit flame of the fatui in the darkness. the other wreathed in hoarfrost bunkering down in the winter of mondstadt. both of their paths diverged into the murk. both have now re-emerged here, upon this hill. and he adds, because it is the truth, insofar as it is the truth for the two of them: ] Home has been waiting.

[ the warm glow of the lit lamps leading up through the vineyards greet them. diluc pushes the double doors open. the warmth from within wafts with dim light. adelinde must have gone to bed - but the few lamps that remain lit signal that she had been waiting.

diluc gestures for kaeya to enter. ]

[circuitice]

[ home has been waiting.

he says that, and Kaeya freezes. guilt seizes his muscles, and roots him in place. Diluc deserves better than to offer that sliver of hope to him. And for a brief moment, panic shows in his eye, before he averts his gaze. ]

Don't say that.

[ he inhales. wrestles with himself, before laughing lightly, uncertain. at himself. ]

Look at me. I forgot that I was covering for Captain Eula tomorrow.

[ fear has taken him. fear will take him far enough that he'd gladly take Eula's patrol for her, gladly take Jean's paperwork. But Eula was more likely to be amenable-- he hopes. ]

I apologize, Master Diluc, it seems I was teasing you, yet again.

[hotcall]

[ kaeya stands at the open door. he does not move. like winter mist, diluc thinks, and feels cold along the back of his neck.

because he is diluc, he waits, and he holds out his hand. ]

... Kaeya.

[circuitice]

I must disappoint you again.

[ he doesn't move to take his hand, he can't let himself. ]

[hotcall]

Because you are choosing to?

[circuitice]

I have a duty to uphold.

[ a half truth.

but, better to deal with diluc's anger. diluc may forgive him, but he can't forgive himself. ]

[hotcall]

[ a significant beat. ]

Is that your only reason?

[circuitice]

Yes.

[ a lie.

like so many he's told over the entirety of his life. ]

[hotcall]

[ in the hush, diluc breathes out. it is much in the way of a sigh. the wavering light of the torches illuminates the contour of kaeya's cheek. it had been this way four years ago, too. the only difference is is that it had been raining. perhaps the rain, too, has never stopped. that day, diluc had drawn his blade. the concept of home has never been the same since. that, too, is diluc's fault.

so he looks at kaeya from the threshold. two men standing on their respective sides of the line. one hand outstretched, the other dim. tonight, home waits.

tonight, home is still waiting.

diluc bows his head. ]

I see.

[ the four year chasm stretches between them, like the inexorable lost link of a chain. diluc, standing there, knows it well. he lets his hand drop. ]

You will not be needing an escort back to town, then, Sir Kaeya.

[circuitice]

No, that won't be necessary.

[ he exhales softly, and turns towards the road. ]

I apologize for troubling you, Master Diluc. Please, have a pleasant night.

[ once his back is to diluc, though, he can let his mask drop, closing his eyes tightly as he counts the steps away from the Winery. ]

[hotcall]

[ kaeya's back turns. diluc watches. the small of his back disappears around the wend of the dawn winery scaffolds. the summer air is cool; the stars above are ravishingly bright. winter, it seems, has yet to end.

behind kaeya, the door to dawn winery closes. ]