CALL ME OUT

[circuitice]

this post for CMO for kaeya. new threads and TLs to go here

Comments

[hotcall]

[ a mulish beat. is he going to say this? ... apparently he's going to say this.

scaldingly: ]

I had my tongue down your throat less than ten minutes ago.

[ did this need to be said, says he. and if his ears seem red - well, who can say beneath red hair. ]

1/2

[circuitice]

[ ah

he really did say it. there's a moment of sincere surprise that Diluc, someone he had pegged as so reticent, would actually try to defeat his teasing with that bluntness, and yet... ]

[circuitice]

[ and then he laughs, sincerely, and openly. definitely at least a little at Diluc's expense, and still, he had never thought Diluc would go there. ]

How difficult was that for you to say, Diluc? Even after everything--

[ another laugh, and then he calms himself. ]

I was teasing.

[hotcall]

[ the look on diluc's face can only be described as someone having eaten an entire barrel of unripe apples. but the look he gives kaeya is exasperation-made-form, lines of it trailing along the contours of diluc's lips like a river returning to its primordial bed.

diluc slowly shakes his head. ]

You're incorrigible.

[circuitice]

And you're easily embarrassed.

But, I suppose that's how it is for someone who prefers innuendo to saying what they mean.

[ he glances over at him, takes in the view of that exasperated look, and forgets himself for a moment. A thaw in the ice surrounding his mask. ]

[hotcall]

[ there's a exhale-made-scoff there somewhere. but diluc lets himself look. ]

I thought I was being clear. Were you not the one who prefers teasing to honesty?

[circuitice]

I tease out of consideration for your feelings.

Sometimes, at least. Other times, because it's fun.

[ he glances at Diluc, debating, a little too visibly, how crude he wants to be in this moment. but, it's nice to be this open with him. less guarded, while his mind is distracted. ]

[hotcall]

[ and other times, diluc knows, to obfuscate what kaeya will not say. but this, neither of them need to voice. ]

You say consideration. I say it's another form of amusement. Do you not have enough things to do to amuse yourself in other ways?

[circuitice]

Don't worry, I keep plenty busy on my own.

For now, you should worry about tonight.

[ he dances around answering that question, for a myriad of reasons. To keep the conversation light, to keep himself and Diluc entertained. To never let on his true feelings.

All true. And all, he wanted to forget, as long as they had this brief moment of peace. ]

And to be clear: I did think your invitation had something to do with the fact that you decided to stick your tongue down my throat.

[hotcall]

[ worry, he thinks, may not be the word for it. diluc's brow quirks. ]

You made the first move. I merely finished it. [ ... ] Am finishing it, I suppose.

[circuitice]

[ another small laugh. And then he hums thoughtfully, ]

Well, if you had refused, I wouldn’t have bothered.

[ and he glances over at him, his eyes searching his face, pensive. Is this the right move? He should have drank more— just to stop any second guessing. ]

Ah, but no matter. It was my impulse.

[hotcall]

[ diluc's gaze in turn - steady, like the low flicker of a flame. ]

What brought on the impulse? Sumeru could not have made you miss Mondstadt to that extent.

[circuitice]

Why not?

[ if they weren’t walking, he’d continue looking. But one of them should probably pay attention to the road. ]

Isn’t the phrase, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”?

Maybe after two weeks of sterling service and friendly faces, I missed your personal touch.

[hotcall]

Hmph. So you say, but your first accusation of the night is of me punishing you.

[ after all, grape juice is diluc's personal touch, clearly. ]

[circuitice]

[ another small laugh. ]

I know.

[ he offers a wry smile ]

And why have you decided to carry on this far? Two weeks isn’t long enough to miss me.

My, would you even have time to notice I was gone?

[hotcall]

[ why had he? diluc thinks - perhaps he did not miss kaeya so much as he missed the potential of missing kaeya. between the two of them, only one of them knew what the days in dawn winery had been like when kaeya had snuck to sumeru with the caravans. only one of them had been left behind.

but that, in itself, is not inherently unique between the two of them. ]

The schemes in Mondstadt did seem to lack finesse for the past two weeks. I could easily attribute that to your absence. [ ... ] Perhaps it simply brought back memories.

[circuitice]

I see.

[ he lets that pass by without much comment. Holds tight whether or not he believes it— the truth isn’t what he’s after in a moment like this.

The truth would probably hurt worse. And so, he lets the evasion stand as much as Diluc has allowed his own. ]

Well, at least the memories are pleasant.

[hotcall]

[ diluc breathes out. ]

This one wasn't.

[circuitice]

… then I can’t imagine why you would invite me to the estate.

Diluc, you can’t honestly still be worried about my homeland?

It’s gone. Whatever I thought my father wanted— it’s clear he— I- we are descended from madmen.

[hotcall]

[ ... the shift of diluc's hands along his side. dawn winery crests along the hill - but he has only attention for one. ]

You had been thinking of what he wanted all this time. Will you give up following his footsteps so lightly?

[circuitice]

Yes.

[ he says firmly, sternly. And that is all he adds. ]

[hotcall]

[ the fist that diluc has formed - he hadn't even realised - it loosens. ]

... why?

[circuitice]

[ he exhales the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. All of this getting dangerously close to the truth that he didn’t want to admit. Or was unwilling to admit, in some small measure.

He knows that Diluc would be willing to forgive him.

But he wasn’t sure he was willing to allow that full reconciliation. Even if he knew it would make him happier. Both of them happier. And so he freezes, he thinks of a quick side step, ]

What does my reasoning matter? I’m simply telling the truth.

[ he says, knowing Diluc would never trust his truths. ]

[hotcall]

[ it matters, diluc thinks. it matters because he doesn't understand kaeya when he needs to the most - because if he doesn't understand, he cannot know if kaeya's return is a mere herald of something more.

but diluc had already said what he had said regardless. for kaeya to not go anywhere that diluc cannot follow.

irrespective of the truth, that will become the truth.

diluc breathes out in the way of a sigh. above, the dome of the stars stretch; they do not cease. they never have. ]

Fine. [ in a way like heartbreak: ] I trust you.

[circuitice]

[ dawn winery looms large in his vision, as Diluc says those words. And Kaeya feels his heart crack— and with it, his mask.

This was too close, too too close. Memories of that night, four years have passed and he can’t quite shake how devastating that night was. If the heavens opened up and struck him right now, he’d deserve it. ]

I forget how short the walk can be.

[ he can’t let himself respond to Diluc’s words. The guilt over that night gnaws at him to this day. Trust was not a thing he deserved.

But he knows to not say that directly, he knows the conversation’s direction would turn in a way and he would lose his nerve and run.

There’s a part of him that wants to run anyway, as they draw closer to the entrance. ]