CALL ME OUT

[circuitice]

this post for CMO for kaeya. new threads and TLs to go here

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[circuitice]

You haven't asked.

[ another sigh, and he closes his eyes in thought. ]

All of my heritage aside, I barely remember it. How many years ago was it that your father found me at the edge of the Winery?

[ his heart beats a little faster at the thought, but he knows not to let on too much at his implications. Diluc could walk away at any time. And he needed to be alright with that. ]

[hotcall]

[ how many years? how can diluc forget the number of years? he had lived by counting those years from their inception, the day that diluc ceased to be alone - that one became two. a sun and a moon in binary orbit. the long nights had ceased to be so long, once. ]

It was a long time ago. [ but diluc leans into his glass. tonight seems much the same. it is likely folly to think so. ] Did you truly forget?

[circuitice]

No, I just wanted to hear you say it.

[ he opens his eyes, and looks at how Diluc leans, hiding behind the glass. Hididng, but not running. ]

But it's long enough to say that Mondstadt is my home.

[hotcall]

[ surprise carves through him. diluc looks. his fingers stay their lilt along the precipice of his glass. his eyes search kaeya's - a burning brand in the night, for the hint of hoarfrost. for a lie. ]

... Adelinde still sets the table for two.

[circuitice]

[ there's a flustered look that crosses his face, similar to the Weinlesefest. Ah... Another outreached hand. He isn't quite sure what to say to that, like there's a block. There's a catch somewhere that he isn't sure of. ]

Still, after so many years...?

[hotcall]

It's Adelinde. [ with the weary humour of someone sharing a joke passed down since childhood, from hand to hand, year to year, tale to tale - ] Could anyone stop her?

[circuitice]

No, I suppose you're right.

[ a sincere smile crosses his face, as he looks over Diluc again, studying his demeanor with a thoughtful quiet. ]

I'm sure it would make her happy.

[ her. Just Adelinde. ]

[hotcall]

Is her happiness not enough?

[circuitice]

[ and he leans back, pushing away from the bar, thoughtful. ]

I will always give her my regards when I visit the winery, of course.

[hotcall]

[ kaeya leans - first forward, then back, as if balancing on the edges of a childhood seesaw. kaeya is hardly so benign.

he takes another drink. it is as miserable as the first. ]

She has never mentioned your regards. They must not have been memorable.

[circuitice]

Perhaps she knows they are a matter of pain for you. Who can say.

It would do you well to lighten up.

[ his voice is light, but there is distance between them now. he knows, instinctively, he should push past his reservations and admit what he wants. And yet, he can't.

Not for Adelinde, regardless of how much he adores and loves her. Still, he notes... Diluc looks a touch more miserable than he intended. But, perhaps it is a trick of his eye. ]

[hotcall]

[ a weighted beat. and then: ]

When have I ever said that they are a matter of pain to me?

[circuitice]

...

[ he considers. To irk? to annoy? to play this off, this brief moment of honesty? there's a certain sorrow there, knowing that his inclination is to deny Diluc again. ]

Well, I suppose it was the inference after you left. Though, I am glad you came back as well.

For whatever reason you eventually did.

[hotcall]

[ slowly, diluc shakes his head. ]

I didn't leave because of you. [ and, level, as burning brands are: ] I didn't come back for you, either.

[circuitice]

I'm not so self obsessed that I would have thought that.

And if you tried to tell me it was so, I would think you were lying.

[ no, he knows he is not the reason for anything. And yet, they walk back and forth around the subject, never quite saying anything. Kaeya stands from his chair. ]

[hotcall]

[ diluc, who has never lied to kaeya, thinks - it isn't the whole truth. kaeya rises. diluc looks. ]

... leaving so soon?

[circuitice]

Well, you are closed.

Do you want me to linger, Master Diluc?

[hotcall]

Are you known to do things based on what I want, Cavalry Captain Kaeya?

[circuitice]

Is that a no?

[ he laughs softly ]

Now, I'm tempted for one more drink.

[hotcall]

Hmph. Incorrigible.

[ here, however, diluc shakes his head. ]

Stay another moment. I have something to say to you.

[circuitice]

Something to say? Oh, I'm curious now.

[ he raises his eyebrows, allowing that curiosity to shine through. ]

[hotcall]

[ like peering through hoarfrost, diluc thinks. you only see what it wishes you to see; and what you see is no guarantee that it is all that lurks beneath the surface. but he has known that about kaeya. kaeya has allowed him to see such. diluc has seen further then perhaps he had been allowed. in a way, it's a moment's grace with a wild animal, a wolf in starving winter, teeth bared, wending past your legs for the rabbit behind the snowdrift. a hunter would remember the feel of that brittle fur. kaeya has always starved. diluc, who only knows how to burn, can only watch.

it's why he looks at kaeya. these words should not need to be said. these words ought to be said.

and yet -

kaeya, who had snuck to sumeru when he was young. kaeya, who shook with terror as crepus dragged him back by the ear. kaeya, who shared with diluc his one and only secret. kaeya, who saw sumeru for the second time, and who chose, after all, to come back.

kaeya, kaeya, kaeya, kaeya.

diluc stills. he does not look away. ]

Do go further into your search for Khaenri'ah. [ is what he says first. it is a wood block against an unstoppable lancelet; it could not even be called a shield. a prayer is no source of protection. it is a plea. but that's why he goes on: ] When you choose to do so regardless, do not go anywhere that I cannot follow.

[circuitice]

[ he's looking so intently at him, and if Kaeya were younger, less experienced, his cheeks might have pinked at the suggestion behind those words. And there is an impulse to take what is being offered, and run much farther with it than he knows he should. After all, where did they go from here?

They were no longer children. There was no more Crepus to drag him back by the ear, there were no more secrets and with them no more whispering and conspiring with each other, letting Diluc's light eclipse his shadow. the mask of amusement doesn't have much place here.

for once, it's just the two of them, no onlookers with expectations in any way. do not go anywhere that I cannot follow.

Kaeya... could almost laugh. ]

Master Diluc, if I may permit a bit of indiscretion?

tagging when exhausted means i missed a wholeass word in that tag, face in hands

[hotcall]

[ kaeya does not, in fact, laugh.

there has only ever been one answer to that. ]

Since when did you ever need my permission, Kaeya?

I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE so you good

[circuitice]

[ Another need to laugh, because Diluc just doesn't get how much Kaeya used to thrive off of Diluc's permission. His allowances. Since when has he needed his permission? Since the first time he allowed himself to kiss Diluc back, for every little nudge forward they took.

for every time he took in the lines of his body, let his breathe linger on his lips, for every sound they've ever drawn out of each other. but of course, Diluc would think it as a matter of course.

how Kaeya wishes he could share that same self confidence in his place here.

but still, he tracks around the bar. he doesn't want to wear out his welcome-- and this move will certainly be a step forward from where they've been. a potential unwelcome move. but as he crosses the layer of the bar, he lifts his hands, framing Diluc's face lightly, and brushes his lips across Diluc's. it's brief, he has no desire to linger there, afraid of the reaction that could still come. ]

Then, I could say you should do the same.